Wednesday, March 15, 2006

[Purim] Wanting to Transcend

Purim has left it's impression on me.

It's images of masks and wine are still fresh, running around in circles in my mind - waiting for directions.

With the inspiration, I am finding a new strength to be completely true with myself, and with the world. To not tolerate misrepresentation and concealment. To stay in tune with the vision of myself, the self that so deeply wants to fully implement and live all the wellsprings of goodness and truth that are dancing around me every day.

It's amazing how everything happens in the right time, and how life events correlate so perfectly with our Jewish calendar. Intellect, trying, choosing, sifting, reaching; that was the pre-Purim Mimi.

Purim came - and BOOM!

The focus has shifted.

Now, it's about transcending. It's about going above, going beyond.

Transcendence isn't easy. It's like meditation - sometimes the
effort it seems to require gets in the way. So, that's why sometimes you just have to be quiet and listen to what's there without trying, without thinking.

So what am I when I'm not BEING me?

I am G-d's mission. And I'm ready to transcend all of this and fly.

Flying high, taking the sparks from outside, bringing them in, tossing them out and out and out. No time to doubt - I am a messenger with burning news. Running and running. Taking in the views of this world and emptying myself for the mission. Listen. Now feel the heat of this ambition. Du dum du dum du dum. A heartbeat. Something else is running my world, a waterfall got hurled, but there's no impact - it just rushes through. Who? The Almighty. He gave me his glory, his strength. I just borrow it, follow it - take it with me, where it leads, seeds of redemption and I'm allowed in. Listen to the drop of this pin, it's not about the win goin' in, but a champion is made. A leader without it's own identity - it's what G-d wants from me. This river never froze, it flows, it goes and goes - there aint no end, I just want to bend to your will, be still and hear the mission - gotta bring this in, bring it in listenin'. This is not my - but no one else's- job, emptying this vessel, nothing here to rob. Can't steal G-d's expression, that's where I gotta be, where I wanna be, wanna be.

[Waking up before I thought I could. It's not about what I expect of myself.Being a messenger spreading the news. I am being asked. Just do it.Your insecurities have no place here...

Finding a practical place for my transcending - I need advice. I want to move in many directions, but value focus. What to learn? What kind of meditation? Reaching out? Clarity always come with good questions. Looking forward to THIS journey...]


Anonymous said...

Hate to be the critic, but this was a bit hard to follow.

Mimi said...

Anonymous, I hear you. :)

N. said...

Sometimes a mind is hard to follow. Thoughts are racing through so fast and you're trying to get them down for fear that they will disappear. Then it's all there on the screen and when you read through, you acknowledge that it might be difficult to understand. You think about reorganizing the content and then you stop. You're blogging for yourself, so that you can remember, not for anyone else.

Good luck transcending!

Nemo said...

But the suggestion of reorganization isn't too much, is it?

If you jot down everything that comes to your mind the scheme to it all only remains with you temporarily. However, if its rewritten in a cognitive way, you won't have to ask yourself "what was I thinking"

Anonymous said...

It's hard to understand, but easy to feel.