Dedicated to tears and the preservation of insanityTragedy brings with it questions that are like wind on a stormy day.
They are violent.
In their ruthlessness, they demand an answer that would make sense of this all.
But I don't want to live in a world that has answers to this, that has reasons.
I know what I want.
I know what I want.
Meanwhile, answers just try to make this all okay.
But it's not okay.
Please...no answers.
Everything sane would become insane, and the insane would then be sane.
An answer would make a stage, a satire performed to turn us all into puppets.
Trying to make sense of what never will.
And if it will, then it makes sense.
Then, it's not senseless.
All of a sudden, it's fine.
Are you happy now?
Now you can sleep a little better?
Is that what we need after this? People sleeping better?
You know what my question is?
When will we all throw up our hands and let go?
Why can't we just go back in time?
When will we just say it like it is, and call it senseless?
No one wants an answer that looks to explain this.
Excuses. Excuses.
There is no explanation.
That's why I'm crying.
Can't you see that I'm crying?
Would my eyes be red if this made sense?
Would my nights be sleepless if this your answers were all I needed?
You will not give me a reason for tragedy.
There is no reason in tragedy. There is no reason in tragedy. There is no reason in tragedy.
My comfort is that this doesn't make sense.
If it doesn't make sense, then it doesn't have a place in this world.
If it doesn't make sense, it will feel a little less comfortable coming by.
Don't make it comfortable by asking for a reason.
When you ask this question, you open the door to tragedy and you offer it some tea.
But pain will not pull up a chair in my house.
Don't tell me this belongs in the world.
Don't you dare tell me that this belongs in the world.
Stop trying to answer something that doesn't belong.
I am fine knowing that this is not wrapped in a blanket of reasons.
I would evaporate in the attack of answers.
I am better, for there is no answer.
And they are worse for thinking there is one.
-----
Some things in this world need to remain insane.
Let's not trample the aliveness we have to injustice.
We don't need answers to turn pain and confusion away from a place where they belong.
The treacherous path of questions should be traveled with caution.
Or else, we may just find ourselves making sense of the senseless.
We might find ourselves forgetting what we really want.
10 comments:
blah
i disagree
we argued this somewhere else once
maybe on the webb blog?
i dont remember
anyhow--
if only we DID know why
then it wouldn't be pain
don't u see?
ur usin one mentality to understand a different one that is beyond this one
we wouldn't see pain if we saw why
trying to understand a tragedy doesnt necessarily make the insane sane. Take criminal psychology for example. Just because we have some sort of understanding of why a certain person did such horrible, deviant crimes doesn't mean it's now sane and in the realm of reason. Sometimes answers don't turn pain and confusion away. Some things are just so bad that even the answers don't answer.
I agree with you mimi. because my mind works the same way, where its better to banish something as unaccountable and unreasonable than to give it reason, thought, or even space. Thats what makes us have more belief, more strength.
Others will always disagree, though. Thats because the path of seeking reason is a comfort for them. Thats what makes them beleieve more, gives them more strength.
It's not a wrong and right. If both get to the same goal: more belief, more strength, than ultimately we work as different harmonies to the same song.
Its a message for the one who's goal is lost, that perhaps they are trying to sing the low harmony but cant reach reach the note. It is those that need to know that they can find strength and belief through another channel.
oops, sorry this was so long.
Your article was great. Less excuses and explanations in the media and elsewhere, and more good deeds to counteract, would do just fine.
hey Mimi!
you've really got a talent going here b"H! Amazing... you didnt give up on me though did you?
No, Basya...your answer is one I'm not doing away with :)
I agree. I think there is a lot to learn from this tragedy, too. For example what insanity, deep unhappiness, can lead to. This was severe anti-social behavior. I hear that he was esp angry at the rich spoiled kids, his roomates didn't exchange a word with him. It wouldn't hurt to consider that for a moment.
WOW.
A friend of mine showed me a story about a Holocaust survivor. His grandchildren used to ask him why he didn't question Hashem's ways.
I love his answer (quite original, I think):
He said that it's enough for him to know that Hashem has answers. "I was afraid that Hashem would say, 'you want the answers - come up to shamayim and I'll tell them to you.' But I don't want to leave the world permanently, yet! At the end of 120, I'll be very happy to go up and find out the answers."
As a Holocaust survivor, this man went through more than a "tragedy" so I don't know how well his response to his...horror? can be compared to other people's tragedies. And while knowing that I know nothing about what he went through, a nagging wonder is why he didn't want to die after all that. Some rest, some peace...to be with his loved ones...
Hmmmmmm.
Moshe Rabbeinu said the same thing. when he came to the burning bush and Hashem called out to him, Moshe covered his eyes. meforshim say that Hashem was showing him the reason behind everything Hashem does, and Moshe didnt want to see.. for understanding would justify it.
and Moshe Rabbeinu, being the ultimate leader, wanted never to know that there was reason for a person's pain.
This post reminds me of Rabbi Friedman. I don't know why, but to me it seems like something he would say.
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