Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Two Minutes

On the way.

Niggunim are playing.

The vintage tape is unclear, but the Rebbe's voice is strong. Relevant. Urgent.

Out my window, the Jewish faces zoom by.

We have begun the march.

We're on our way.

There's a lot of traffic for 10 pm.

"Are they going to the Ohel?"

"Don't think so. They're black."

"Ya, you'd be surprised."

The Rebbe was everyone's Rebbe.

We are quite the flock.

Parking.

I'm trying to prepare.

I'm thinking, "Who is the Rebbe? What is this all about?"

I'm thinking, "Who am I? What am I all about?"

In line.

So it's not just me.

We all want to be Chassidim.

The men. The women. The young. The old. The bearded. The shaven. The skirt. The pants. No one's claiming rights here. G-d wants us all, and the Rebbe proved it.

I watch the policemen.

While they see a graveyard, we see life.

Crazy crazy Jews.

I write my letter.

My heart spills in black ink.

From, Miriam bas Leah Simcha.

Your proud soldier.

I open my Tehillim. Always the right words.

All of a sudden, someone wants to use my phone. There's no such thing as strangers in a line like this, a line with this purpose. Sure, here's my phone. And here's my pen. And I have paper, too. Hi Doris from Iran. Nice to meet you. My name is Mimi, or Miriam.

A baby is crying. We all feel the mother's needs. Afterall, Chassidim are one family. Come here, nurse your baby. We'll block you. The crying stops. The family of hundreds feels calm again.

Inching closer. No rush. A calm focus.

A young boy rests his head on Tatty's shoulder. Tatty is telling a story to an older man. It seems to be this man's first time. His eyes are glistening.

The Rebbe is on the video. He is talking. He is singing.

I want to pluck him from the video.

Rebbe, why are you on a screen?

A pain in my heart longs for closeness.

And suddenly I am being rushed in.

I hold the line to drop some coins.

And here I go.

Inside.

In the womb.

I look around.

Two headstones surrounded by life.

Absorbing.

Prayers. Tears. Gratefulness.

Hashem, look at your children.

Just look at us.

We always show up.

Even for two minutes.

And two minutes is enough.

We're on Rebbe time. Each second is packed.

Besides, when you're face to face like this, the truth comes out.

Time forces honesty. No words are extra.

The depths come rushing to my lips.

Hashem, I just want to be good.

I want to be good.

Throat tightening.

Eyes wetting.

Hashem, I want to be good.

Lips tighten.

A tear.

Hashem, I want to be good.

Cheeks flushed.

Eyes moist.

Hashem, be with me.

I want to be good.

And here's what I'm going to do.

A holy conversation. Tehillim.

I read my letter. I scatter the pieces.

Tehillim.

And I'm being rushed to my left.

Outside.

I feel humbled.

I feel light.

I feel strong.

I feel heard.

I feel close.

Going home.

Niggunim are playing.

The vintage tape is unclear, but the Rebbe's voice is strong. Relevant. Urgent.

Out my window, the Jewish faces zoom by.

We have begun the march.

We're on our way.


----------
General info/stories/etc:
The Rebbe

My piece from last year:
The Rebbe Unplugged

One groups visit to the Ohel:
Return of the Souls

21 comments:

peri said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rochel said...

Gosh, this is really an emotional post. I felt tears coming to my eyes while reading it!

bujare said...

BS"D

ah girl..........
on point.
as always.

c said...

this year was my first in new york. first time at the ohel. i wish i had read this before. i had no idea what to expect. instead of feeling holy, i felt rushed and confused.

NM said...

Mimi this is awesome.
You are awesome! xx

B Sista said...

mim love the stylo of the ohel post.

mim, im telling you, I WANTED to pluck the rebbe from the video. can we do that?

u capture so much in so little words.

just like the 2min.
say so much in so little time.

Anonymous said...

all i can say is WOW, you are awesome, you should go from strength to strength guiding people and inspiring people, and smiling to people cause you are what makes crown heights so holy through your smile down the streets and your always friendly "hello" and just YOU, keep up your good work

You know who

soul sister said...

every word is from my soul
never mind u wrote it and u did it

Anonymous said...

wow. so intense, so real, so emotional. i also want to pluck the Rebbe from the TV. I need to see my Rebbe. Moshiach Now!

Anonymous said...

Oh Mima you captured the essence of a true soldiers trip to the OHEL.

May hasem always answer all of your Tefillos, the men, the women, the young. the old, the bearded, the shaven. those in skirts and those in pants forever.

You go girl!

Chevie said...

Mimi- I haven't visited your blog in a while but I am glad I did tonight.This was truely a beautiful peice. Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

you make it painfully clear what i am missing by not being THERE today

Anonymous said...

Thank you for being yourself, and sharing with the rest of us, you're beautiful!
The world needs your inspiration, the inspiration of a true Chassid :).

Anonymous said...

REALLY NICE THING YOU WROTE. I HAD TEARS IN MY EYES. ARE THESE FEELINGS YOU WRITE OR YOU HAVE TO WRITE SO YOU BS FEELINGS

Anonymous said...

the way you describe your emotions and deepest tefillos is amazing!
hard for me to understand though why Jews daven at a kever, and specifically why Chabad chassisim attach so much holiness to the Rebbe's kever, this level of kavana should and could be reached anywhere at all...

Chana said...

Anonymous,

Of course we should have strong kavana all the time, no question. But there are also special, opportune times and places that are extra auspicious for davening and having our prayers answered. In a sicha, known as the "Hishtatchus" sicha, the Rebbe explains, using halachic sources, how davening by the kever of a tzadik has the same power as davening in the Bais Hamikdash during the time of Geulah. Basically, we know that there are "tunnels" that lead from kivrei tzaddikim to Eretz Yisroel - so that when Moshiach comes, and techiyas hamaisim happens, they will get there through those tunnels. The tunnels, therefore, are connected to Eretz Yisroel in the time of Geulah, not galus. There is a halacha that something that has the potential to be opened, is considered opened. Hence, although currently the tunnel is blocked, when we go to the kever of a tzaddik, since it has the potential to be opened, it is as if it's opened. Our tefilos at the kever of a tzadik therefore are able to reach the level of Eretz Yisroel in the time of Geulah - which is infinitely higher than any level we can reach any other place in golus, including the kotel itself. I believe that this is true of ANY tzaddik. However, since we (including Mimi) are Lubavitch Chassidim, there is also an added yearning to connect to OUR Rebbe on this day of 3 Tammuz. Put all these things together, and you get a VERY auspicious place and time to daven to Hashem.

May everyone's prayers be answered immediately!

Shloimy said...

Is Kleenex offering online tissues? Gosh Mim! Beautiful. I really had to pause reading for a minute to close my eyes and let your words bring me to a moment.

A real tear jerker!

Pimplesoflife said...

mimi that was amzaing.... wish i had such deep feelings about the rebbe

Hadassah said...

Wow, Mim. So SORRY (to myself) for not reading this sooner. I was with you then, and it's like you pulled the thoughts right out of my head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think we can all pluck the Rebbe from the screen. We just have to believe.
Cheers.

zee said...

hey mimi, not sure if u remember me, but i met u the other week in the elevator in the childrens musm. i read ur blog a lot over the past yr while in sem and for a long time i was curious, i wanted to meet u..see who u were, see the person writing such profound inspiring messages that touched me to the core....u never fail to impress me with ur posts! glad i got my chance! :) keep it up! zlata porter

chenyok said...

This is beautiful; hope you start writing again.