Back on the Hilltop (or trying)

I wanna write but I can't, so I'm hiding in the abstract
Tossing and turning, tryin' to get back on track
Big plans I have, but its all dying in my head
Lazy and uncaring, everything has turned to lead

I know what is my toil, signs are everywhere
But when I approach, there arises this fear
Eventually, from the depths I know I must call
For a little help from the creator of it all

I used to write, and feel you flowing through my pen
You crafted each word, you told me what, how and when
But I took you for granted, and left you in the dust
Gone went all my creativity, my pen turned to rust

I keep thinking, just sit down and write and write
But its you I must face, to give my writing its light
Because on a hilltop, its only with you that I flourished
But I let you out of sight, my soul got undernourished

Look at me - rhyming poetry, so lame!
But I abandoned you, so I fully take the blame
So now I'm reaching for you, want you back, want you back
Fill all those spaces and holes where you and I know that I lack

I remember a time knowing you wanted me to write
You weren't the only one telling me, 'keep spreading the light'
But to have what to share, I gotta plug into the source
I'm telling you now, I'll get back on course

I forgot the mission, while it tugged on my core
It was really you saying, "From you I want more"
I'm here now listening, you won't have to say it again
Just come again and tell me, what, how and when