I want you back

I've been ignoring you lately.

You've been that disturbing phone call that I just don't want to answer.

You need me, and I can't even look your way.

I want so badly to talk to you, but our story is too painful to face.

We used to be so close.

And now, I feel listless at the mere mention of you name.

All your newsflashes, e-mails and links swarm my screen and are left avoided, turned to spam.

A part of me just feels numb to you.

Last night, when I heard someone was going to take you, our situation, and possibly turn things to fresh inspiration, I jumped on the chance.

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So here I am in a quaint apartment in Manhattan, listening to a religious academic talk about your condition.

He is smart.

He is engaging.

He is a man with serious heart, real passion, and a strong voice.

He is chopping down our assumptions, forcing us to take a new look, and awakening a real interest in the history of the chaos.

Oh, Israel.

He talked and talked about you.

He knew all the facts.

He dismantled the ideas of our enemy.

He gave us the ugly picture, nothing but the truth, and made us gasp.

And yet, he left me with nothing.

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Israel, don’t you miss the Rebbe’s voice?

It was the voice that only spoke of the urgent, the truth.

It was the voice that couldn’t just sit and converse.

It was the voice that championed your true cause, and never got sidetracked.

It was the voice that wouldn’t put up with distractions.

It was the voice that brought beauty and light, and didn’t give the ugly a chance to blink.

So, now, Israel. I’m sitting here listening to this guy, and - even with all his genius, commitment, and sincere resolve – I am still aching for the Rebbe’s voice.

Who’s refusing to waste time while you sit in between the fire?

Where is the hand in America holding yours?

Israel, without the Rebbe, where is your voice?

Who’s getting to your soul?

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In a passing comment, the speaker last night impressed me when he told the audience, “After all the hundred of books I’ve read, in all my years of research, it’s clear that nothing is as telling and true as even just twelve verses in the Torah. It’s all in the Torah. You don’t need to look anywhere else.”

This was impacting, straight up truth – saying it like it is.

It’s the one line that struck me from his hour and a half lecture.

It was a moment of sincere truth and impatience with side issues.

It was the voice of the Rebbe, there in Upper Eastside.

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Israel, the Rebbe was always so one with your internal rhythm, your heartbeat, your cries, your hopes and dreams.

You can know all the facts, be religious – but there is a certain point of truth and focus in the whole picture that only the leader of our generation was able to unearth.

Always the real issue. Always the light. Always the facts. Always the fearlessness. Always the right action. Always the right timing. Always the right words.

Israel, I’m going to recommit. With our Rebbe, I will save this relationship.

Even if you are so insanely easy to ignore, you are home to me - and this just isn’t right.

Although personal determination may be harder to rally, the Rebbe’s voice has never left this world. Starting with my own searching, actions, and reading, I am going to make the Rebbe’s voice more alive in my life.

I’m convinced that in any search for truth, there is the Rebbe.

So, enough of this complaining, this sulking.

Mimi, stop acting like the Rebbe left us behind.

Just say it like it is.

My Israel, with the Rebbe’s guidance, I will get to your soul.

My Israel, I want you back.

Wanting to hear our voice