Wednesday, November 15, 2006

I want you back



I've been ignoring you lately.

You've been that disturbing phone call that I just don't want to answer.

You need me, and I can't even look your way.

I want so badly to talk to you, but our story is too painful to face.

We used to be so close.

And now, I feel listless at the mere mention of you name.

All your newsflashes, e-mails and links swarm my screen and are left avoided, turned to spam.

A part of me just feels numb to you.

Last night, when I heard someone was going to take you, our situation, and possibly turn things to fresh inspiration, I jumped on the chance.

-----

So here I am in a quaint apartment in Manhattan, listening to a religious academic talk about your condition.

He is smart.

He is engaging.

He is a man with serious heart, real passion, and a strong voice.

He is chopping down our assumptions, forcing us to take a new look, and awakening a real interest in the history of the chaos.

Oh, Israel.

He talked and talked about you.

He knew all the facts.

He dismantled the ideas of our enemy.

He gave us the ugly picture, nothing but the truth, and made us gasp.

And yet, he left me with nothing.

-----

Israel, don’t you miss the Rebbe’s voice?

It was the voice that only spoke of the urgent, the truth.

It was the voice that couldn’t just sit and converse.

It was the voice that championed your true cause, and never got sidetracked.

It was the voice that wouldn’t put up with distractions.

It was the voice that brought beauty and light, and didn’t give the ugly a chance to blink.

So, now, Israel. I’m sitting here listening to this guy, and - even with all his genius, commitment, and sincere resolve – I am still aching for the Rebbe’s voice.

Who’s refusing to waste time while you sit in between the fire?

Where is the hand in America holding yours?

Israel, without the Rebbe, where is your voice?

Who’s getting to your soul?

----

In a passing comment, the speaker last night impressed me when he told the audience, “After all the hundred of books I’ve read, in all my years of research, it’s clear that nothing is as telling and true as even just twelve verses in the Torah. It’s all in the Torah. You don’t need to look anywhere else.”

This was impacting, straight up truth – saying it like it is.

It’s the one line that struck me from his hour and a half lecture.

It was a moment of sincere truth and impatience with side issues.

It was the voice of the Rebbe, there in Upper Eastside.

-----

Israel, the Rebbe was always so one with your internal rhythm, your heartbeat, your cries, your hopes and dreams.

You can know all the facts, be religious – but there is a certain point of truth and focus in the whole picture that only the leader of our generation was able to unearth.

Always the real issue. Always the light. Always the facts. Always the fearlessness. Always the right action. Always the right timing. Always the right words.

Israel, I’m going to recommit. With our Rebbe, I will save this relationship.

Even if you are so insanely easy to ignore, you are home to me - and this just isn’t right.

Although personal determination may be harder to rally, the Rebbe’s voice has never left this world. Starting with my own searching, actions, and reading, I am going to make the Rebbe’s voice more alive in my life.

I’m convinced that in any search for truth, there is the Rebbe.

So, enough of this complaining, this sulking.

Mimi, stop acting like the Rebbe left us behind.

Just say it like it is.

My Israel, with the Rebbe’s guidance, I will get to your soul.

My Israel, I want you back.

Wanting to hear our voice

8 comments:

anonym00kie said...

i dont really understand what you're saying.. i feel out of the loop.. but i love the passion you're saying it with

Mimi said...

Ha, that's great! :)

I'm saying that I want to recommit to what the Rebbe has to say about Israel, and get more emotionally and actively involved through the lense of the Rebbe's vision and activism.

I guess I am saying that I miss the Rebbe, anad I miss Israel... and want to do something about it.

thinkingrandom said...

perhaps this calls for a commitment to learn about what the rebbe has to say about isreal...on a weekly basis...
i'm totally into it.
be in touch

bujare said...

BS"D

wow i am impressed mimi, mamash
you are a very deep soul.the words
uttered that night were heavy
indeed, so i say to myself what do
i do with the info i just received?
i opened up Igrot Kodesh the letter
was addressed to a soul who is
getting closer and attracted to
the drops of chassidut, it says -
and the best way to influence
someone is by example-
Hayom Yom for today tells us
that Hashgacha Pratit takes one
where one must spread the Love of
Torah and strenghthen Yiddishkeit.
Rabbi Golomb at chabad central
today says that every yid has
that mesira nefesh-and it does
comes out at the most opportune time.
It is there and will resurface and that is the power of Moshiach
and ppl will realize that Torah is
not merely a book and Israel is not
merely a piece of land and the Soul
of the Yidden for three thousands +
years has been the Torah.

as matis sings-Israel wont you get
up from your knees, Torah truth
won't you realize given to the
humble on Mnt Sinai-

We are the voice of the Rebbe mimi-
you, matis, your brother...that we
must speak to the youth, via the
talents we can achieve that, as you
are elevating the sparks on this
end of the internet, we all have a specific mission....

Gd bless, Yasher Koach on your blog
batya(bujare-the girl who found her
way back Home via matis :)

Mimi said...

Wow, Batya - I can't believe YOU just told ME that I am a deep soul.

It was a pleasure meeting you and hearing your story. I hope to see you around more.

How'd you find my blog? My brother must have mentioned it.

Thanks so much for commenting, such beautiful, enlivening, and neccesary words.

Keep coming back, okay?

(E-mail me, mimi@notik.com for my cell number, if you ever want to learn, hang out, etc)

bujare said...

BS"D

i love how you think mimi your
words gets my engine running :)
as the besht said, you are what
you think, and wherever your
thoughts are thats were you are
completely-entirely the land of
Eretz Israel is not just a
geographical location..
chavera it was my pleasure meeting
you both, for sure we will see more
of each other Bezrat HaShem in
Yerushalayim. thank you for airing
out sweet deep vibes, yeah i will be back...

Anonymous said...

karasi... v'en ish oneh!

Oh its.... me! said...

Sometimes we may find ourselves beginning to become influenced by our surroundings, almost doubting our deep love and trust we have for Our Rebbe... But regardless of the questioning gazes and mocking remarks, deep down we know that NOONE and NOTHING can tamper with our commitment and bond that we have.

Thank you for triggering a meaningful internal conversation.

I salute you!